A club took on a new manager who had reputation for being the best motivator in the sport.
Before his first game in charge, he took all the players to Amsterdam for a couple of days. After hours of drinking and smoking in the Brown Cafes, he took them all to the Red Light District, where they all chose the most attractive girls to spend the afternoon with.
Then, he treated them to a massive piss-up and a brilliant dinner, before paying for them to go to the raunchiest nightclub in the city. Every player got himself laid at their boss's expense.
The following day, they did the same again, with each one of them having threesomes before moving on to group orgies, all expenses paid. The next day, they went back home.
At the manager's team talk in the changing-room just before kick-off in their next game, he asked them if they'd had a great time. They all agreed it was the best break ever, and that he was the best boss and greatest motivator that they'd ever had.
Then he asked if they'd all told their wives, fiancées and girlfriends about the trip and exactly what they'd been doing with those Dutch women. There was a deathly silence, until he told them that unless they won the final six games to gain promotion, he'd make sure that each player's wife/partner found out all the details about their trip. They won that first match 6 - 0 and were promoted after winning the last five too.
Now THAT'S motivation...