SCORING FOR FUN

Carol and Bev go clubbing

by Jackie Beedle

Welcome to the land of make-believe...

The cast: Bev, Carol, Deano, Macca and Neil

B: What did I just hear Dean? Nobody loves you? Nobody loves you? I can't believe that. We'll make you feel loved...

C: "Smack!" - Happy Birthday!!

B: Here’s one from me too "Smack!". Do you feel better now?

D: Wow!! Thanks girls, just what I needed....

M: You’ve just made an old man very happy!

C: Leave him alone, he’s not that bad!

B: How old are you this time then Dean?

D: Never you mind miss, but let’s just say I’m in my prime!!

C: Hey, we believe you, you certainly look a very fit young man to me!

D: Spot on darling, you obviously know talent when you see it...

M: Steady Deano, your head is getting a bit out of control there - don’t get him started talking about himself you’ll be here all night.

B: Promises, promises!!

C: Dean, I’ve heard your good in the air.

B: Are you sure that’s not hair, what happened to your blond highlights then?

D: All the birds thought I was a bit of a himbo - which is obviously not true!

C: Obviously!

B: That’s a disappointed, I really fancied you with blond hair - I’m not so keen on this new look - it’s OK, don’t get me wrong, but I prefer the tall, blond and tanned kind of fellas.

D: You mean like Neil over there?

C: Bev, he looks more your sort I must say.

B: Hmmm, very tasty - now you could look like that again Dean if you wanted. My sister’s a hairdresser, if you change your mind she’ll do you at a very reasonable rate.

D: Do you reckon?

C: She’s really good, she’s worked in Chester and everything. She does a good job.

D: At least I’ve got some hair, not like some of my esteemed colleagues. Look at Kev over there, he’s only 17 but he’s had a hard life!!!

B: Well, you know what they say about bald blokes? Mind you, I like a man with a full head myself! So, come on Dean, introduce us to Neil.

D: Neil, come over here a minute mate!

C: I don’t believe you Bev, have you got no shame?

B: Shurrup, if you don’t ask.....

N: What’s happening birthday boy?

D: I’d like you to meet these two lovely ladies, Carol and Bev. They have a thing about hair and apparently you’ve got the best hair here!

N: Well you know, it must be the shampoo I use!

B: No, we were just saying how much better looking Dean was with blond hair, he just looks ordinary now, which is a shame!

D: Come on, my hair’s not that bad, a change is as good as a rest - my mum likes it anyway.

N: He’ll do owt for attention this one - it’ll be purple next time, you just watch. At least when he had his blond locks he was easy to spot up front. He kinda blends in now.

D: It’s only my extraordinary talent that helps me stand out nowadays!

N: Ooohh, listen to Shearer here, the real reason he’s changed his hair is that people kept mistaking him for me and he couldn’t stand it!!

D: Right, that’s it, I’m getting another drink, you shouldn’t be insulting me, it’s my birthday remember...

C: Bless him, I think he looks cute with darker hair.

N: So, you two seem big experts on hair, hairdressers by any chance?

C: No, cleverclogs, mind you Bev’s sister is, we just like looking at blokes with good heads of hair. Men with nice hair, you can’t beat it in my book!

N: What do you think to my barnet then?

B: Well, we were admiring it before, it’s just right in my book.

C: Any blond is right in her book!

B: Give over, not any, mind you a lot of them seem to pass my test...

N: What test’s that then, and do I pass?

B: Well, I can’t give away all my secrets, but let’s just say you start with the head and work your way down. And yes, you pass my test with flying colours!

N: Nice one!

C: You’d better watch her Neil, she’s already undressed you with her eyes, there’ll be no stopping her soon.

N: I think I can handle that!

C: Well, don’t say you haven’t been warned.

B: She makes me sound like a real man-eater, I’m not that bad - but I do enjoy a good snack every now and then!!!

D: What have I been missing then, are you still slagging off my hairstyle, if you are I’m going home!!

B: Don’t worry Mr Paranoid, we finished with the hair business ages ago.

C: She’s now trying to cop off with your mate here - and I know what she’s like, he’ll soon have no chance of escape!!

D: Don’t you worry about Neil, he’s a man of the world aren’t you Neil?

N: You’ve not heard what they’ve been suggesting mate!

D: Any room for a small one? I’m always left out of the exciting stuff me.

B: Aawww, you’re not having a great birthday are you?

C: What do you mean, he’s had a kiss from us, what more could anyone possibly want on their birthday?

N: Don’t answer that Deano!

D: No, I’m going think about that one for a while.....

C: Excuse me anyway, I need to make a brief visit to the ladies!

N: Don’t tell me, to do your hair?

C: If you must know, I’m busting for the loo, nosey!

B: Some people, they need to know every detail don’t they?

N: Sorry, I didn’t want that much detail though, I thought I was being witty.

D: Ohhh, witty are we now, some blokes just can’t take their drink!

N: Talking of which, what do you fancy girls?

B: Don’t tempt me!

C: Calm down girl, I think he means drink, not his body!!

B: You never know - yeah thanks we’d love two rum and cokes, and anything else you might like to offer!!!

N: I won’t answer that one!

C: She always gets a bit fruity after a few drinks, ignore her.

B: No, don’t, I’m a nice person really!

D: We believe you, thousands wouldn’t.

C: Right, come on Bev, unless you want to mop up a puddle in a minute!

B: See you in a minute, don’t go away now!!

N: We’ll be here, don’t worry........

 

Is Neil telling the truth, or will they do a runner as soon as the girls disappear into the loos? Read Issue 4 of Red Passion for the answers